We’re Home. Ten Years Later. A Cleft Surgery Full-Circle Moment

We’re Home

It’s strange how simple those words are, considering how much weight they carry.

Ten years ago, this moment felt impossibly far away. I remember staring at the timeline, barely keeping my head above water, knowing I didn’t have the bandwidth to think about the next month, let alone the next decade. Back then, survival mode was the only mode.

The Early Years of Our Cleft Journey

The first few years were rough. Not gonna lie. Learning how to use the Haberman bottle, figuring out Ava’s eating rhythms, chasing an energetic toddler, navigating postpartum depression, adjusting to civilian life after the army, moving back to Texas, and walking through two reconstructive surgeries. It was a lot to carry all at once. And some days, it felt like I was carrying it alone. 😅

And yet. Somehow. Here we are.

A full decade later.

Time didn’t stop, even when I felt frozen. Life kept going. Slowly, things got better. Easier in some ways. Ava’s cleft journey faded into the background as her lip and palate healed beautifully, her food issues improved, and her ears never gave us any trouble. That still feels like a small miracle.

I’m endlessly grateful for a healthy, strong, beautiful girl, and for how the Lord restored and strengthened my bond with her through all of it.

The Night Before Surgery

This most recent surgery felt like a full-circle moment.

The night before surgery came faster than I expected. Our arrival time was moved up at the last minute, which meant an even earlier morning. Not my favorite. But less waiting, and less time for her to be hungry, so I’ll take it.

Before bed, we watched Super Mario Bros, her favorite, and she snuggled up next to me. I could tell she was a little nervous but also soaking up the one-on-one time. Some days I get so caught up in how fast she’s growing that I forget how much I still love those quiet snuggles.

Then came a brief panic when we couldn’t find Maizy Daisy, her one favorite stuffy. I was already spiraling until she found it tucked away in the closet. No idea how it got there, but crisis averted. 😅

Everything was packed. The truck mostly loaded. Just a few things left for the morning. And once the house was quiet, I found myself fighting the urge to go hold her just one more time. Motherhood does that to you.

This wasn’t a terrifying, life-or-death surgery. Not something like a heart transplant. And still, it was hard. Emotions don’t always make sense, especially when you’re a mama. I turned the monitor on for the first time in nearly five years, told myself to eat, hydrate, and sleep. 5:15 was coming whether I was ready or not.

Spoiler. My stomach had other plans. 🙄

Surgery Day and a Different Kind of Waiting

Matt and I woke up before our alarm and got a head start. I grabbed a protein bar and some milk while getting ready. Ava was up by 5:25, calm and steady, and we were in the truck by 5:45. We hit traffic and still made it with fifteen minutes to spare. Small win.

Pre-op was easier than I remembered. Probably because she isn’t a baby anymore. No pumps.

No bottles. No juggling a crying newborn. Just a confident big girl. Maizy Daisy got to go back with her too, which helped more than I can explain.

After almost two hours, it was time. The surgical team came in for final checks, then took her back. She looked like an absolute rockstar surrounded by her entourage, and my heart just about burst.

Matt and I headed to the waiting room. Miss Ashley from Child Life came back with the iPad and told us Ava did amazing with the IV and was asleep within minutes. Once we knew she was under, we grabbed cafeteria food, wandered the gift shop, and somehow an entire hour disappeared. We even found a little stuffy to bring home for her.

Marriage, Healing, and Lockstep Faith

And somewhere in all that waiting, something else stood out to me.

The first two times we walked through surgeries like this, it felt like Matt and I were coexisting in the same space but living in separate worlds. Each fighting our own battles, processing fear in our own ways, just trying to survive.

This time was completely different.

We were in sync. Fully. Not because we needed to fill the silence, but because we were in lockstep the entire time. We’ve done so much healing and growing, both individually and as husband and wife. Jesus gets all the credit for that. Truly.

The difference was night and day, and I can’t begin to explain how healing that was for my own heart. It never ceases to amaze and humble me to see how much Jesus has restored in our little family. There just aren’t words. 🥹🥰

Recovery, Home, and Small Wins

The surgery status board decided to test my patience, showing when surgery started but never updating after that. After three hours, I finally went to surgery reception and learned she was finishing up and heading to PACU. Relief doesn’t even touch it.

When we finally got to see her, she was groggy and loopy, but still goofy and kind to everyone. Mary, our PACU nurse, was incredible. We were moved towers for our overnight stay, which wasn’t ideal, but Mary and Miss Tammy made it so much better. Good nurses truly make all the difference.

We were discharged a few hours early the next day and were home before noon. Huge win.

The first four days post-op, Ava slept in our room. We were up every three hours with pain meds, because I refuse to fall behind on pain. Once the swelling went down. Which honestly wasn’t as bad as I expected. We decided it was time to get back to normal life. She moved back into her room with her little sister, big brother moved back into his room, and everyone started sleeping better.

Last night marked a big milestone. She had Motrin at 11pm when Matt and I went to bed and didn’t need anything again until 9:30 the next morning. Huge win.

One of the funniest memories from this stretch has been reminding Ava to slow down while walking. There’s a Mickey Mouse short where Goofy’s grandma shuffles along saying, “here comes grandma, here comes grandma.” That line has become our family mantra anytime she starts moving too fast. 🤪

Nine Days Post-Op and Grateful Beyond Words

Today marks nine days post-op, and she’s recovering beautifully. Very little hip soreness. Very manageable pain at her surgical site. The liquid diet has honestly been the hardest part, especially since she’s never been much of a soup person. We have a follow-up with her surgeon early next week, and we’re hoping to be cleared for soft foods, which would make things much easier.

All in all, I’m beyond happy with how she’s doing.

And I’m deeply grateful. For her healing. For the breakthroughs. And for the growth the Lord has worked in me, in my marriage, and in our family through this process.

Ten years ago, I couldn’t imagine this moment.

But here we are.

We’re home. 💛